Left Behind

She woke to the gentle tapping of the rain on the window. The room was dark and damp. She reached her hand to where his body used to lay and found nothing but cold sheets.
Reality sunk in at that moment and the tears began to keep time with the patter at the glass dropping silently against her pillow. How long has it been she wondered since he left, how many lonely nights had she clung to the pillow that still smelled like him. How many tears has she cried?

She still wore one of his old shirts as she made the coffee and stared out the window watching the world go by. So many things she wishes she had said and so much still to share with him. She wraps her arms around herself and takes a shaky breath. She closes her eyes and he's there again.

She wonders how the world continues to go on while her heart is torn to shreads. How do people continue to smile and laugh while she can't seem to even stop the tears from streaming down her face.

She wanders down the hall and stands in the doorway of the room they shared, the bed unmade and as empty as her soul. The pictures are all thats left of what once was, its the only thing that makes the past real and the heartache magnified.

She wishes she could convince herself that he was never really there, it was just a dream not reality, but she hears his words of love whispered against her ear and a chill takes over. She shudders as she walks to the bathroom where she throws up nothing into the porcelain cooled water.

As she washes the night away she looks into the mirror and sees nothing but a drained, tired face as her reflection. How can one person give and take so much from a life without even realizing what they meant to the other. She knew in her heart, mind and soul that he was the only one ever for her. He erased the past and created a future that he was now no longer a part of.

She dressed without enthusiasm just as she did every day. Life seemed so empty without the sound of his laughter, the touch of his hand, his gentle way. She always knew somewhere in her heart that he couldn't stay forever, but she hoped that he would see the love in her eyes and let the healing power of her love comfort and sustain him. Hope lost to the winds of time and washed away with the trash down the gutter of a street that was less travelled.

She left the house dark and abandoned that day. She turned the lock and walked into the darkened day without an umbrella. It was the only way to hide the tears and ruined makeup that she just couldn't hide today.