The following is a paper I wrote for my Bachelors degree in Health Care Administration. It was for a required course that was then called "Diversity in Society"; it was designed to eliminate barriers and help to broaden the thought process towards others.
In light of recent events I think it is only fitting that I begin here with welcoming everyone in the world to my little world that I grew up in, the good, the bad and the ugly. This happens to be my take on my family growing up.
A: Family structure and Relationships
I was very fortunate to have three Great-Grandmothers and one Great-Grandfather in my life as a child; they all took special interest in the “babies”. It seems looking back now the roles that the women played in our family were not clearly defined.
I never gave much thought to the eldest generations until my Grandmother passed away two years ago. At her funeral, my Great-Aunt (who doubles as my Godmother) said, “I guess the family “matriarch” position falls in my lap now. She was right; our glue had dissolved in the rush of one final breath. The younger adult women (my mother and aunts) followed Grandma’s rules; she ran the family.
Great-Grandma Buck (my mothers Grandmother) lived into my teen years and even though she suffered from senility and frailty of body, she was still a very strong woman. I remember her saying “he better not be bringin’ any more babies home from the railroad with him for me to take care of!” She of course was referring to Great-Grandpa and his time that he worked building the rails. She would always chuckle, shake her head and then she would look out the window for hours as if she was waiting to see him coming down the road at any moment. He had died several years prior to this time.
Men were the workers. They planted fields, slaughtered hogs, chickens and hunted. They worked on and off the farm as well; they provided the food on our tables. If you have never seen the sight of four to six grown men “scalding a hog”, consider yourself fortunate. Men in my family are not large of stature, my father was only five feet, six inches tall, but to watch them wrestle a hog that was easily a thousand pounds was an amazing sight to behold. Arms bulging, veins popping out on their necks, sweat soaked shirts and the yelling; there wasn’t anyone who was exempt from being screamed at on that table. They didn’t have a “pecking order” as Grandma called it.
B. Ancestry and nationality
My Grandpa’s family on my dad’s side is German; they came to America in the late 1800’s from Austria. As the story’s told, it was my Grandpa’s Great-Grandfather with his fourteen sons in tow came over. When they arrived, they settled in Indiana; with my Grandpa’s Grandfather ordering a mail order bride after they settled into what is now Leelanau County in northern Michigan.
Grandmas’ family I am guessing to be German as well, although I have no clarification to that. I have heard only stories about the man they affectionately call “Pa”; how large his hands were and the large presence he had and how hard working Great-Grandma was; she took in work to buy the extra things she wanted. They were farmers in Benzie County and reared members of the police force, clergy and a member of management in the “Michigan Bell Pioneers”.
On my mothers’ side, we know that Great Grandma’s parents came through Canada in the early 1800’s and then settled in Williamsburg, Michigan where the farmhouse still stands. Great-Grandpa’s family is of German origin and they were potato farmers in Indiana prior to settling in Grand Traverse County. To further the confusion, we believe my mothers’ father was adopted out of France; however, we are unable to find any report of him or the adoption due to the loss of public records.
My family speaks English; however, my Great-Great Grandmother spoke only German. I do still have relatives in Germany who speak German as their first language, but when they speak to me, they speak English.
C: Rituals of daily living and special occasions
Our family celebrates everything! While Christian holiday’s (Christmas and Easter) and Thanksgiving are the big events of the year. Birthday’s, births, deaths, weddings and any other reason to get the family together are cause for celebration.
In 2003, we lost my Grandmother, my father, and my fathers’ only brother in a very short time for different reasons. When Grandma lay dying in her hospital bed the true spirit of my family was evident. Present at her bedside were her husband, sister, children, grandchildren and even a great grand child; all of us touching her and giving her that final “party” that she loved so much. When she passed I left the room to tell the remaining family that couldn’t fit in the room I saw her nurse (male) in tears at his desk and he said to me “Everyone should be loved that way and die that way.”
Holidays always boasted more family than you could fit comfortably into a home. It also included any neighbor or stranger that happened to be alone. It was an unspoken message that nobody should ever be alone on a special day, especially when our family could always find room for one more and during the holiday’s there is no such person as a stranger.
D: Physical Surroundings
I grew up on a dirt road in a ranch style home on a slab of concrete, built by my father and Grandfather on land once owned by my mothers’ family. Our town was small and close knit, everyone knew everyone else and most of them were related to me in some way.
Our home was nestled in the woods far off the beaten path and created a sense of security for me. I felt unreachable and distant from the world around me. Nothing could touch me when I was walking through the trees, listening to the birds, the dry leaves crunching under my feet or sitting by the creek reading on a sunny summer afternoon. I think growing up here gave me a sense of self, respect for nature and all her wonders, independence, fostered creativity and imagination.
My family is big on handing down items to the next generation. I myself own a small dresser made by my Great-Grandpa, a dresser once owned by my Great-Grandma, a sweater worn by my Great-Grandma and my favorite heirlooms are my children. My oldest child carries the first name of my mothers’ father, the middle name of my father and the last name of my fathers’ family (there were no boys born to the males to carry on the name). My second son carries his fathers’ family names, with my mother choosing his first name. My oldest daughter carries her Great-Grandmas first name (spelled per Grandmas request) and my youngest carries my Great-Great Grandma’s maiden name as her first name, her Grandma’s first name as her middle name and my fathers’ last name.
E: Social Relationships
Several people outside of my family have influenced who I have become. First of all Bob, a friend of my fathers who always told me like it really was and I refer to his words often in my dealings with life. I remember a very important conversation he and I had one day in the yard at my parents’ house; I was struggling in school with my peers and my father had expressed concern to him. He said to me “Kristy, you are a beautiful young girl, you are smart and you can overcome anything if you really try. Don’t let other peoples opinions of you determine who you are. As long as you do the best you can do what right does anyone have to take that away?”
The other primary people were Pastor Joe and his wife Evelyn. They came to our church when I was a young teen and started a youth group. It was with them that I truly found myself as a loving, kind, compassionate and open person. They led by example of forgiveness, spoke of pure love and exuded kindness. They took us to nursing homes for visits, created programs for the special needs children and opened my mind and my heart to the truest form of love and acceptance.
They welcomed into our church a man that had been in prison without judging him and quickly added him to our youth program as a leader. He was not singled out or treated any different from anyone else in the church, he simply was one of us from the beginning; he became a member and deacon of our church rapidly. Today I am proud to say this man is still a friend to me.
F: Religion
Faith and religion in my family are not something that you can easily get away from. My Grandfathers’ family for the most part is Catholic, my mothers Lutheran and the rest Non-denominational Christian. The Bible standardized any questions or rules for my upbringing. For instance, when I asked why there were different colors of people I was told “God made them that way so they could survive better where they lived.” After this I was given an example using the African’s “Their skin is dark because they have more pigment in it. They are from a warmer climate with a lot of moisture in the air so their noses are a little wider making it easier to breathe and their hair is curly so it doesn’t hang in their faces when they work with all the humidity.”
My father had been baptized Catholic, but his teachings and way of life leaned more toward the Native American belief structure. He believed that everything we need is provided by nature and that nature should be respected in that you never take more then you will use and waste nothing. Enforcing this way of thinking was when my Uncle built a teepee. Sewn from canvas and using cedar logs my cousin and I spent many a summer day inside. As adults we have resurrected the teepee and use it often for tarot readings, and other special “ceremonies”, such as at my Uncles memorial. We call it “having a teepee”. A ceremonial fire and other items of the Native American cultures, crystals, “smudge” sticks and meditation are sometimes included in our “ceremonies”. Some call it “New Age”, all it really is, is an all encompassing version of all elements in life, science (bodies, energy, and energy sources), religion (prayer, mediation), faith (spirits, spirit world) and love (unconditional, boundless).
After reading our text I discovered that most of my belief structures come from the Hindu faith and follow on that path. I believe that everything is intertwined and there is no true religion, just us, the spirit world (God) and faith that something beyond this plane exists for everyone.
G: Education
The approach to education in my family was a topic of great discussion, not many men in my immediate family received high school diplomas and I will be the first to graduate from college. I myself held back a lot in high school, dropping out in the tenth grade and returning after many years to further my education. I felt stifled in the class room, I was a petite, attractive young woman and nobody bothered to notice how smart I was and only years later did I find out myself when I receive an award for the highest GED score.
My father was known for saying “work smarter, not harder”. My mother went to college and even though she did not receive a degree, she worked all the way through it. She works in education herself now and has received the esteemed “Educator of the year award”, which she of course minimized as being “no big deal”.
My dad’s friend Bob, that I mentioned earlier, was a big influence as well. A conversation I had with him when I was a teen echoes through my life still, he said “Without an education you could end up doing work you hate, that is hard and that nobody respects. Next time you go out to eat, you look at how tired and worn out your waitress is and ask yourself ‘is that what I want for my life?’” I do ask myself this regularly and often, however, he didn’t know that it would have another impact on me as well. As a result I am a good tipper, I always say thank you and I always look my waitress or waiter in the eye giving them the respect they deserve for the hard work they do.
H: Gender, race, age, social class and sexual orientation
Early on it was established for me that gender doesn’t matter in my family. Everyone had their own part and carried their own share of the load. While I wasn’t able to muscle the hog to butcher it, I did my part by helping to package it and put it away.
Race was never an issue of concern or to be treated negatively. Maybe that came from my Grandmas first husband being a Native American who died in WWI. Quite possibly it was just as our text stated “Germans were a more accepting group” (Parrillo, 2003), of course I can’t make a judgment since I wasn’t there.
Growing up I was always aware of the age factor. There was always someone older telling me what to do and always someone younger that I told what to do. Everyone had a specific role; I guess the saying “crap rolls down hill” takes its form here. Anything that the Grandparents said overrode the parents, parents overrode the kids and kids were to do as they were told without questioning, there was a definite sense of order to the chain of command (Grandma was the boss).
I had the best of both worlds as far as social class is concerned. I was the daughter of a hard working lower to middle class family with Godparents that had no children in the upper class. I was afforded the unique opportunity to participate in the upper class functions as well the functions considered to below that standard. In this respect I feel I have had the most enlightenment, I do not feel like I fit in any class in particular. I can interact with the President of a major company as well as the hermit who uses an outhouse and never feel that they are above nor beneath me.
Nobody really talks about sexual orientation in my family. I have members of my family that are gay or lesbian but my family has never made it a definition for who they are. I have many friends that live different lifestyles from me and I have never seen it as being anymore “alien” to me then I am to them.
While our religious training traditionally calls for non-acceptance of this, my family has chosen to live by the scripture “judge not, lest ye be judged” (Holy Bible; King James Version) or the saying “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. I heard these almost daily growing up.
I: Other Influences
There are times when I am ashamed of my strong German heritage, not because of anyone locally or my family, but because of the actions of Hitler (I would really rather not be grammatically correct here and use all lower case for his name). I am ashamed that someone who shares my culture could be so cruel and hateful to anyone; especially the innocents that he hurt.
I found myself at work one day in the home of a blind Polish immigrant woman who needed care. She was very adamant that she did not need assistance and said, “I don’t vant a voman in my house!” I was very concerned that she would notice that I carry a very German last name and become upset, thus causing problems that I did not want for her health. She finally asked the question I dreaded “Vhat is your name?” I told her reluctantly and was surprised when she smiled and said, “Good German name, she can stay!” then she proceeded to push her daughter in law to leave.
My culture exists solely as an American consisting of many cultures, ideals and traditions. If you are human, you are my race, if you bleed, you are of my own blood and when we die, we all return to dust. Whether you believe in creation or evolution, all of us are extensions of the very first and in essence and are all part of one giant family tree.
J: Insights
I feel that this session has reinforced the teachings I learned growing up. My personal family culture has been continuously re-created from accepting and adopting other cultures into our own.
I do follow the teachings of my family and try to pass them along to my children. I feel it is important for everyone to feel a sense of self and belonging where ever they may find themselves. I believe every person has something special to contribute to the whole and will if we just make a little more room at the table.
I realize now that my culture is not the “normal” standard and I actually cried about some of the things I have read. It is hard for me to understand such harshness growing up in a world so full of love and acceptance.
I have learned that I am not tolerant of ignorant people, I do possess a bias against those who act out of hate and I will not ever understand it nor do I want to.
Three personal stands I am committed to taking are:
Being more accepting
Becoming more loving
3. Being more understanding
Three personal actions I am willing to take are:
Spend more time learning about others
Teach my children the ways of acceptance, not hate.
Speak up for those who will not or cannot.
Reference:
Parrillo, V.N., (2003). Strangers to these shores: Race and ethnic relations in the United States (7th ed.). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Holy Bible, King James Version. Matthew 7:1.
Cultural Autobiography
Kristy Lautner
INTD 201 Diversity in Society
Sp1-05
Lynette Younggren, MMA
A: Family structure and Relationships
I was very fortunate to have three Great-Grandmothers and one Great-Grandfather in my life as a child; they all took special interest in the “babies”. It seems looking back now the roles that the women played in our family were not clearly defined.
I never gave much thought to the eldest generations until my Grandmother passed away two years ago. At her funeral, my Great-Aunt (who doubles as my Godmother) said, “I guess the family “matriarch” position falls in my lap now. She was right; our glue had dissolved in the rush of one final breath. The younger adult women (my mother and aunts) followed Grandma’s rules; she ran the family.
Great-Grandma Buck (my mothers Grandmother) lived into my teen years and even though she suffered from senility and frailty of body, she was still a very strong woman. I remember her saying “he better not be bringin’ any more babies home from the railroad with him for me to take care of!” She of course was referring to Great-Grandpa and his time that he worked building the rails. She would always chuckle, shake her head and then she would look out the window for hours as if she was waiting to see him coming down the road at any moment. He had died several years prior to this time.
Men were the workers. They planted fields, slaughtered hogs, chickens and hunted. They worked on and off the farm as well; they provided the food on our tables. If you have never seen the sight of four to six grown men “scalding a hog”, consider yourself fortunate. Men in my family are not large of stature, my father was only five feet, six inches tall, but to watch them wrestle a hog that was easily a thousand pounds was an amazing sight to behold. Arms bulging, veins popping out on their necks, sweat soaked shirts and the yelling; there wasn’t anyone who was exempt from being screamed at on that table. They didn’t have a “pecking order” as Grandma called it.
B. Ancestry and nationality
My Grandpa’s family on my dad’s side is German; they came to America in the late 1800’s from Austria. As the story’s told, it was my Grandpa’s Great-Grandfather with his fourteen sons in tow came over. When they arrived, they settled in Indiana; with my Grandpa’s Grandfather ordering a mail order bride after they settled into what is now Leelanau County in northern Michigan.
Grandmas’ family I am guessing to be German as well, although I have no clarification to that. I have heard only stories about the man they affectionately call “Pa”; how large his hands were and the large presence he had and how hard working Great-Grandma was; she took in work to buy the extra things she wanted. They were farmers in Benzie County and reared members of the police force, clergy and a member of management in the “Michigan Bell Pioneers”.
On my mothers’ side, we know that Great Grandma’s parents came through Canada in the early 1800’s and then settled in Williamsburg, Michigan where the farmhouse still stands. Great-Grandpa’s family is of German origin and they were potato farmers in Indiana prior to settling in Grand Traverse County. To further the confusion, we believe my mothers’ father was adopted out of France; however, we are unable to find any report of him or the adoption due to the loss of public records.
My family speaks English; however, my Great-Great Grandmother spoke only German. I do still have relatives in Germany who speak German as their first language, but when they speak to me, they speak English.
C: Rituals of daily living and special occasions
Our family celebrates everything! While Christian holiday’s (Christmas and Easter) and Thanksgiving are the big events of the year. Birthday’s, births, deaths, weddings and any other reason to get the family together are cause for celebration.
In 2003, we lost my Grandmother, my father, and my fathers’ only brother in a very short time for different reasons. When Grandma lay dying in her hospital bed the true spirit of my family was evident. Present at her bedside were her husband, sister, children, grandchildren and even a great grand child; all of us touching her and giving her that final “party” that she loved so much. When she passed I left the room to tell the remaining family that couldn’t fit in the room I saw her nurse (male) in tears at his desk and he said to me “Everyone should be loved that way and die that way.”
Holidays always boasted more family than you could fit comfortably into a home. It also included any neighbor or stranger that happened to be alone. It was an unspoken message that nobody should ever be alone on a special day, especially when our family could always find room for one more and during the holiday’s there is no such person as stranger.
D: Physical Surroundings
I grew up on a dirt road in a ranch style home on a slab of concrete, built by my father and Grandfather on land once owned by my mothers’ family. Our town was small and close knit, everyone knew everyone else and most of them were related to me in some way.
Our home was nestled in the woods far off the beaten path and created a sense of security for me. I felt unreachable and distant from the world around me. Nothing could touch me when I was walking through the trees, listening to the birds, the dry leaves crunching under my feet or sitting by the creek reading on a sunny summer afternoon. I think growing up here gave me a sense of self, respect for nature and all her wonders, independence, fostered creativity and imagination.
My family is big on handing down items to the next generation. I myself own a small dresser made by my Great-Grandpa, a dresser once owned by my Great-Grandma, a sweater worn by my Great-Grandma and my favorite heirlooms are my children. My oldest child carries the first name of my mothers’ father, the middle name of my father and the last name of my fathers’ family (there were no boys born to the males to carry on the name). My second son carries his fathers’ family names, with my mother choosing his first name. My oldest daughter carries her Great-Grandmas first name (spelled per Grandmas request) and my youngest carries my Great-Great Grandma’s maiden name as her first name, her Grandma’s first name as her middle name and my fathers’ last name.
E: Social Relationships
Several people outside of my family have influenced who I have become. First of all Bob, a friend of my fathers who always told me like it really was and I refer to his words often in my dealings with life. I remember a very important conversation he and I had one day in the yard at my parents’ house; I was struggling in school with my peers and my father had expressed concern to him. He said to me “Kristy, you are a beautiful young girl, you are smart and you can overcome anything if you really try. Don’t let other peoples opinions of you determine who you are. As long as you do the best you can do what right does anyone have to take that away?”
The other primary people were Pastor Joe and his wife Evelyn. They came to our church when I was a young teen and started a youth group. It was with them that I truly found myself as a loving, kind, compassionate and open person. They led by example of forgiveness, spoke of pure love and exuded kindness. They took us to nursing homes for visits, created programs for the special needs children and opened my mind and my heart to the truest form of love and acceptance.
They welcomed into our church a man that had been in prison without judging him and quickly added him to our youth program as a leader. He was not singled out or treated any different from anyone else in the church, he simply was one of us from the beginning; he became a member and deacon of our church rapidly. Today I am proud to say this man is still a friend to me.
F: Religion
Faith and religion in my family are not something that you can easily get away from. My Grandfathers’ family for the most part is Catholic, my mothers Lutheran and the rest Non-denominational Christian. The Bible standardized any questions or rules for my upbringing. For instance, when I asked why there were different colors of people I was told “God made them that way so they could survive better where they lived.” After this I was given an example using the African’s “Their skin is dark because they have more pigment in it. They are from a warmer climate with a lot of moisture in the air so their noses are a little wider making it easier to breathe and their hair is curly so it doesn’t hang in their faces when they work with all the humidity.”
My father had been baptized Catholic, but his teachings and way of life leaned more toward the Native American belief structure. He believed that everything we need is provided by nature and that nature should be respected in that you never take more then you will use and waste nothing. Enforcing this way of thinking was when my Uncle built a teepee. Sewn from canvas and using cedar logs my cousin and I spent many a summer day inside. As adults we have resurrected the teepee and use it often for tarot readings, and other special “ceremonies”, such as at my Uncles memorial. We call it “having a teepee”. A ceremonial fire and other items of the Native American cultures, crystals, “smudge” sticks and meditation are sometimes included in our “ceremonies”. Some call it “New Age”, all it really is, is an all encompassing version of all elements in life, science (bodies, energy, and energy sources), religion (prayer, mediation), faith (spirits, spirit world) and love (unconditional, boundless).
After reading our text I discovered that most of my belief structures come from the Hindu faith and follow on that path. I believe that everything is intertwined and there is no true religion, just us, the spirit world (God) and faith that something beyond this plane exists for everyone.
G: Education
The approach to education in my family was a topic of great discussion, not many men in my immediate family received high school diplomas and I will be the first to graduate from college. I myself held back a lot in high school, dropping out in the tenth grade and returning after many years to further my education. I felt stifled in the class room, I was a petite, attractive young woman and nobody bothered to notice how smart I was and only years later did I find out myself when I receive an award for the highest GED score.
My father was known for saying “work smarter, not harder”. My mother went to college and even though she did not receive a degree, she worked all the way through it. She works in education herself now and has received the esteemed “Educator of the year award”, which she of course minimized as being “no big deal”.
My dad’s friend Bob, that I mentioned earlier, was a big influence as well. A conversation I had with him when I was a teen echoes through my life still, he said “Without an education you could end up doing work you hate, that is hard and that nobody respects. Next time you go out to eat, you look at how tired and worn out your waitress is and ask yourself ‘is that what I want for my life?’” I do ask myself this regularly and often, however, he didn’t know that it would have another impact on me as well. As a result I am a good tipper, I always say thank you and I always look my waitress or waiter in the eye giving them the respect they deserve for the hard work they do.
H: Gender, race, age, social class and sexual orientation
Early on it was established for me that gender doesn’t matter in my family. Everyone had their own part and carried their own share of the load. While I wasn’t able to muscle the hog to butcher it, I did my part by helping to package it and put it away.
Race was never an issue of concern or to be treated negatively. Maybe that came from my Grandmas first husband being a Native American who died in WWI. Quite possibly it was just as our text stated “Germans were a more accepting group” (Parrillo, 2003), of course I can’t make a judgment since I wasn’t there.
Growing up I was always aware of the age factor. There was always someone older telling me what to do and always someone younger that I told what to do. Everyone had a specific role; I guess the saying “crap rolls down hill” takes its form here. Anything that the Grandparents said overrode the parents, parents overrode the kids and kids were to do as they were told without questioning, there was a definite sense of order to the chain of command (Grandma was the boss).
I had the best of both worlds as far as social class is concerned. I was the daughter of a hard working lower to middle class family with Godparents that had no children in the upper class. I was afforded the unique opportunity to participate in the upper class functions as well the functions considered to below that standard. In this respect I feel I have had the most enlightenment, I do not feel like I fit in any class in particular. I can interact with the President of a major company as well as the hermit who uses an outhouse and never feel that they are above nor beneath me.
Nobody really talks about sexual orientation in my family. I have members of my family that are gay or lesbian but my family has never made it a definition for who they are. I have many friends that live different lifestyles from me and I have never seen it as being anymore “alien” to me then I am to them.
While our religious training traditionally calls for non-acceptance of this, my family has chosen to live by the scripture “judge not, lest ye be judged” (Holy Bible; King James Version) or the saying “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. I heard these almost daily growing up.
I: Other Influences
There are times when I am ashamed of my strong German heritage, not because of anyone locally or my family, but because of the actions of Hitler (I would really rather not be grammatically correct here and use all lower case for his name). I am ashamed that someone who shares my culture could be so cruel and hateful to anyone; especially the innocents that he hurt.
I found myself at work one day in the home of a blind Polish immigrant woman who needed care. She was very adamant that she did not need assistance and said, “I don’t vant a voman in my house!” I was very concerned that she would notice that I carry a very German last name and become upset, thus causing problems that I did not want for her health. She finally asked the question I dreaded “Vhat is your name?” I told her reluctantly and was surprised when she smiled and said, “Good German name, she can stay!” then she proceeded to push her daughter in law to leave.
My culture exists solely as an American consisting of many cultures, ideals and traditions. If you are human, you are my race, if you bleed, you are of my own blood and when we die, we all return to dust. Whether you believe in creation or evolution, all of us are extensions of the very first and in essence and are all part of one giant family tree.
J: Insights
I feel that this session has reinforced the teachings I learned growing up. My personal family culture has been continuously re-created from accepting and adopting other cultures into our own.
I do follow the teachings of my family and try to pass them along to my children. I feel it is important for everyone to feel a sense of self and belonging where ever they may find themselves. I believe every person has something special to contribute to the whole and will if we just make a little more room at the table.
I realize now that my culture is not the “normal” standard and I actually cried about some of the things I have read. It is hard for me to understand such harshness growing up in a world so full of love and acceptance.
I have learned that I am not tolerant of ignorant people, I do possess a bias against those who act out of hate and I will not ever understand it nor do I want to.
Reference:
Parrillo, V.N., (2003). Strangers to these shores: Race and ethnic relations in the United States (7th ed.). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Holy Bible, King James Version. Matthew 7:1.
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