Wednesday, November 7, 2012

So many things have happened since my last post I'm not sure where to really begin.

Well first off my third grand daughter (biological) was born on Easter Sunday, I wasn't allowed to be there for my daughter or granddaughter who ended up in the NICU for a few days. It broke my heart and just about killed me to be away from my newest grandchild, but I had to respect her parents choice. I have only seen this beautiful little girl once since her birth and have had one picture sent to my phone of her on Halloween.

This is the picture of me and Sophie at our first meeting in July of this year at my cousins wedding that I was photographing for her. She is just so precious, she took to me right away and I believe she remembered my voice from talking to her mommy's tummy through her pregnancy.

Also in April my (soon to be ex-husband) decided that he was going to cause my youngest daughter so much stress that she had herself removed from my care via CPS. Its been a long summer of classes, supervised visits and ultimately giving custody of her to her father, against my better judgment but its what she wanted and she is 16 so I gave her up.

On May 3rd I was in an auto accident with an old friend of mine; I didn't know it at the time it was him that I hit but only found out later on who it was and was so thankful he survived.
The red car was his, and yes you see right its in two pieces, the second pic is the car I was driving. I was lucky enough that I had a local EMT right behind me to keep me awake, still and coherent. I was lucky to "walker" away with only a broken pelvis; Al (my friend) wasn't so lucky, he was hospitalized for a few days with internal bleeding. I thank God every day for sparing us both, I don't think I would have wanted to live knowing I had killed not only another driver but an old (elderly, Vietnam veteran) friend. They wouldn't tell me who he was until days later. I wish I had known sooner, I would have visited him in the hospital to tell him how very sorry I was. The only thing I could do was help fight his prosecution and not take anything from him financially.

Around the middle of May I suffered a heart attack and found myself hospitalized once again and my marriage over. I stayed with some family members for a couple of months only to end up back in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia because of an allergy to a pain med that my doctor was trying to help me with, needless to say they thought I had attempted suicide (which I did not) and they knew because I had more pills then I should have had in the first place in my script left. Besides a week before this my youngest aunt passed away from Parkinson's disease, which was the mother of the family member I was living with and also the family member who saved my life when she found me choking in the morning.

In July I moved in with another friend and took over helping my cousin get married. I did her flowers, helped her decorate, find her dress and photographed the wedding as well.

She made a beautiful bride and is happily married to the mad who originally proposed to her when they were young. A special place was held for her mother and my own mother filled in for the unity candle lighting. It was very tearful and special day for our entire family.

This is my crazy family of brothers and sisters and significant others of those who are now left on my moms side of the family. Left to right back row Al (my moms boyfriend), my mom, uncle Larry, his wife Aunt Linda, Kelly, Ben and down in front is my Aunt Cinda. I love this crew more then they will ever know and couldn't be happier that my mother found a man who treats her right, respects her, sticks up for her and obviously loves her. She deserves it after being widowed so young. Thanks "Nissal" for being such a great man and loving my mother like she deserves to be again; who ever said love only comes around once never saw these two together.

I have since lost all insurance and having trouble getting my medications to remain healthy. Luckily I have moved in with some great friends that opened their home and hearts to me. I couldn't be more humbled by their love and support while I go through this trying time, I thought I was alone but I found out that just when you are about to give up on yourself your truest friends come out of the woodwork and pick you up, brush you off and kick you back into the ring yelling "one more round Tater". God I am blessed to have these crazy friends of mine to love me and for me to love as well. Its true you don't know who your true friends are until you have nothing to give but yourself.

I know this is a lot of information to take in at once, so I will try to get back to blogging again daily about the trial and tribulations of living with lupus. Its not been easy, I am flaring and have no meds, I sleep a lot, can't get around very well and am in constant pain (its like the flu that never goes away as far as body aches), the joint pain limits my ability to do the things that I love the most...crafting; but I am working on that as well:)

Until next time, peace, love, prayers, and butterfly hugs to those of you who read me. I will continue to try to update as much as possible. 

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